Every morning, I wake up a little overwhelmed by all the things that still need to happen to be ready for our departure Saturday.
It’s hard to keep up with it all. Today, in addition to madly scrambling for props, hunting costumes, learning about all the unexpected challenges we’re going to be facing next week, and creating fake surveillance photos, we added a major house plumbing overhaul to the mix.
Each day, I’m reminded in livid detail that I can’t do this. I’m insufficient to the task. Fear of failure dogs my heels a lot. Afterall, this isn’t just some tiny project that no one will ever see. I’ve been blogging, tweeting, and basically leveraging all of my relationships and communications networks to tell everyone and anyone who will listen about this thing.
I’m often tempted to work really hard. To view myself as the solution to every problem, ignoring the giftings of my teammates and taking on a bit of a savior complex. The result is that I quickly feel overwhelmed, and I start to come apart. I find myself becoming more and more paralyzed by my own inadequacy and by the overwhelming number of tasks that must be accomplished.
But there’s a solution to my problem. It’s deceptively simple, and somehow incredibly hard. See, all I have to do is trust God. Accept that I’m not the solution and lean on the only one who is. There’s peace and rest there. He is utterly trustworthy.
In 43 years of life, he’s shown me over and over again that he cares for me, and is working out all of the details of my life for my good and his glory. I just have to trust.
Today, I did. And I got so much more done. And it felt so much better. Now I just have to do it again tomorrow…